No surrender, no delete!

People suck. No, not everyone, and I don’t think Bill meant it like that when he said it either. But it sucks when you hear about a new addition to the suckers. Do I get points for using only one descriptive term? Anyway, I read this post a while back, but last night I FINALLY got to hear the record in question, and am coming down of the fence, calling it superb, and shouting a big FUCK YOU to charles holgate. FUCK YOU CHARLES HOLGATE. Or MC Nomad, if that’s your real name.

Read the article, but the gist is that Mr Nomad was hired to do PR for DJ Rupture’s latest mix, Uproot, and took two grand and two hundred records, and then, well, whatever he did with them he certainly didn’t document any work further than sitting on his fat arse. When Rupture or his label, Agriculture, called the guy up, he stammered, held for time, and stammered some more. Beccy Lindon, journo for the Guardian, claims she recieved the album, didn’t think much of it, and didn’t review it. That is the only evidence of Gnomeface doing any work, and he didn’t bother to record even that. Now the last I heard, the Gruaniad were still bothering to review albums by Coldplay and U2, and it pisses me off that forward thinking artists get left by the wayside. I’m not talking about me, I’m not talking about 3-week doomladen sludge fests by SUNN O)), which I love, I’m talking about brilliant, sweeping, genre-hopping albums with huge beats. I’m going to take a perverse enjoyment in sifting through the Observer Music Monthly features on Lilly Allen’s legs next year. Look out for the double page spread on “Global Beats of the Noughties” with Rupture in the centre. Unless the Killers piss out a double album and they write about the puddle instead. The point is, if you’re PRing an album that no-one likes, you have the easiest job in the world. One spreadsheet full of “No’s” and your work is done. You don’t do that, you’re just a theiving motherfuck.

Incidentally, the PR guru sucks just as hard at MCing as he does at real work. He rhyms “hymen” with “high, man”. Go figure.

Keep up the good work, rupture. Oh, and FUCK YOU CHARLES HOLGATE.

Giggly woodcut

When people aren’t looking

yarr
I cycle along as if I’d just won the tour.

DIG!!!

Mr Nick Cave continues to gleefully stomp down the road he chose last year with Grinderman, this time bringing the whole of the Bad Seeds with him. They will never be the same again. But no-one ever is, so let’s not cry about things we lost in the fire unless we cry for the appropration of that phrase by a fucken Halle Berry film.. It is delightful to see Mr Cave enjoy his own potential for cartoonish showmanship like never before, here’s hoping he doesn’t forget he can only get away with it while he keeps bringing the classic songs. For now though, Dig, Lazarus, Dig!

Just in case you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s Grinderman:

best. spam. ever.

Just picked this up at work. I hope they catch lots of suckers!

Dear Hunting Enthusiast,

I have recently written a book called “Billy Goes Hunting,” which is the story of a young boy whose hunting beliefs and values have been challenged by his peers.

I wrote this book because I’ve tried desperately to find one like it for my own children and was completely unsuccessful. It seems that so many people associate hunting with cruelty or unfairness to animals. My children were being harassed at school because I am a hunter and I wanted a way to teach them the values of hunting. I don’t want my children to be ashamed of such a rich and wonderful tradition which has been passed down through my family for generations.

If you would be interested in purchasing this book for yourself or for someone else, please write me at info@BillyGoesHunting.com. You can also look at the website, www.BillyGoesHunting.com to get a better understanding of the book and view some of the art. Every page in the book is beautifully illustrated. The book sells for $9.95 plus shipping but if you are willing to purchase 5 or more books, I can sell them to you for the wholesale price of $5.95 plus shipping…

etc..

this little piggy was cloned..

pig. with a little jellyfish mixed in. courtesy of the guardian.

According to the guardian, the FDA says it’s ok to eat cloned meat. I find people who eat dead things increasingly hard to understand.

sleeping life

i dreamt that my fancy new honeypot had been emptied, the honey returned to it’s original, drab container.

christmas crackers

Here it is, the line of newsprint that I would have enjoyed writing more than any other this year:

Before recieving full communion, Blair, now a Middle East peace envoy, would have had to confess all his sins

From today’s Observer article on Blair completing his transition from one dangerous crackpot to another.

he's a good kid, you'll like him. bit yappy, but he soon steps into line...

New podcast

An afternoon well spent in the company of babybel, tom waits, rubbish coffee, jens lekman, gold bars and the hidden cameras. 60 minutes of dynamite meandering

Sipping on the Sweet Nectar

It really is all about lip-syncing whilst flying over Iceland at dawn in a red biplane. Especially if you’re Jens Lekman.